The last few weeks have been challenging. Finding the combination of energy to apply to work, school and home life has been interesting. Work I've come to realize is something that needs a light mind, one where you are able to disconnect your blood pressure and heart and only your muscles are pulling the load. School is in the final push - only the capstone presentation this coming Monday and then a written document on the 3rd to finish. The modules are all done and complete. The team project is by far the hardest element as we have to really on others to get the professional certification grade. Home - well is a challenge to find the balance.
I continue to struggle with this self hatred issue. I know hatred seems strong but when you've been programmed to be something you can never achieve the weight of not being all that is expected turns to this morphist existence. I am doing ok and slowly seeing the light.
My garden is suffering and will the next week as we will be gone and not here to nurish it. The bright side is my worms are flourishing and I have provided them enough food from the crisper drawer tonight to keep them until our return.
Tomorrow we start our vacation - a visit to a national park and some time with my siblings. It will be a week of love and I hope my husband can keep up with the family.
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