Cooking, Sewing, Working, Traveling, Gardening and Pondering

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.

~Winston Churchill~

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Heavy Heart

I have always hated to see pain. Whether it was physical or emotional. Pain is a four letter word and it is one that has always been hard for me to digest. Especially when it is someone I care fore going through it. It weighs heavy for my heart to see anyone suffer. I take on their pain and ponder on it and visual it. It's a masochistic I know, but somehow my mind needs to wonder through this ritual. Maybe it makes me more compassionate to them, maybe it makes me squander myself away in bits and pieces. Either way it is exhausting. My own pain is rarely shared anymore. Those deep secrets of self destruction are kept inside, helping me fuel this digesting of others pain.

How can this be, to walk along through life and the every day carrying this around without someone seeing this disaster on my face? That my soul is yearning to free my friends from this agony that I have to suffer with them there in the trenches. My thoughts get consumed with their need for relief, so that I can recover as well.

Does this make some sort of freak or emotionally unstable individual or is this what friends do for each other? I would surely go through the pain for them so as to not see them suffer an ounce of discomfort. My heart bleeds their pain and it hurts. They deserve so much happiness and should never see so much sorrow or any misery. Some have had good lives while others continue to be tested and tried with these life hurts. Can't the happiness be shared? Isn't there some sort of option on the remote to disperse the pain and replace it joy?

They say that what does not kill us makes us stronger, if that is the case, I know Hercules and I know superman and so many other characters of steel.

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