Sometimes in life you realize that things are not so rosey. That maybe life is really hard. You begin to wonder about how you got here and how you are going to move forward.
Recently, I realized there was someone in my life that is truly inspiring. She's always been right there. Always. She's not a world traveller or Harvard educated, she's not a career woman or a feminist. She's my grandma. She has endured almost 90 years now. She's overcome hard times, difficult marriage, loosing her daughter, being raised on a ranch, working herself to the bone doing things most people hire someone to do.
Her hands are not a bit crippled from arthritis, she's broken her back, she has health problems.
Most of all, my grandma has strength and she is silly and fun. Most people having been through as much as she as been through would have turned sour. She is still out there garage sale hunting and seeing people and as active as she can be.
She was the only grandparent we had much contact with growing up. When we were "the accident", it was my grandma that came to help us for months. The accident was bad, it put my mom in a wheelchair for a long time. My brothers were pretty beat up too. I only had minor injuries so I spent my time with grandma. She would make me the BEST pancakes and we'd play old maid for hours.
Today she is what inspires me.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Second Quarter of the year.
So coming back to a post a few months ago, I have started on the journey to reconstruct myself. This includes my outlook on life, people, my hobbies and talents, my health and future. Whether I am working on my spirituality or my fitness level, I am now doing something each day to improve me. Some would say improving on perfection - oh well anyway, I know I need a tuneup so to speak so here I am.
To say jogging is my favorite thing to do would be wrong, but I am finding it to be a quick easy way to get my heart rate up so this spawned a new ipod nano. Yoga has been added for the off running days to keep me flexible. Do I really want to mention the diet portion? Oatmeal - yes quaker oats, for breakfast each day and a banana chocolate protein shake for lunch. Dinner well is still a challenge as I live with a foodie husband.
I want to say I've started this task. That I'm trying to improve my sewing skills, my garden and my mindset. I find that some of my hobbies are intensely meditative and without them, I tend to be angry and frustrated in life.
I have no set goals other than to be happier and healthier in 1 month and more so over time. I am open for advice, support ectera, but ultimately I have to do the work to see the results.
To say jogging is my favorite thing to do would be wrong, but I am finding it to be a quick easy way to get my heart rate up so this spawned a new ipod nano. Yoga has been added for the off running days to keep me flexible. Do I really want to mention the diet portion? Oatmeal - yes quaker oats, for breakfast each day and a banana chocolate protein shake for lunch. Dinner well is still a challenge as I live with a foodie husband.
I want to say I've started this task. That I'm trying to improve my sewing skills, my garden and my mindset. I find that some of my hobbies are intensely meditative and without them, I tend to be angry and frustrated in life.
I have no set goals other than to be happier and healthier in 1 month and more so over time. I am open for advice, support ectera, but ultimately I have to do the work to see the results.
Energy Food
A day to remember. When I was in Honolulu for my TNT Century Ride we ate at this great hole in the wall place. Best Ramen and Rice I've ever had. Great atheletic food.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
2009 and Beyond
So the year is started. What is new, what is old, what is worthy and what has mold. I am going to try to achieve things this years. Not sure what they are or how I'll go about them but I am. I am strong. I am smart - at least in my world. I am stubborn and diligent. I want to overcome the obstacles that challenge a marriage. I want to conquer a new career. I need to evolve physically into the girl I think I once was.
Can a person metamorphosis into something new in just one year? How can you do all these things and stay sane?
Can a person metamorphosis into something new in just one year? How can you do all these things and stay sane?
Saturday, November 1, 2008
unemployment in a down economy
I would think most everyone would warn against quitting their job these days. Would they still recommend that if they were asked to do more than one person could in their job. Is it easier or better to work multiple part time jobs doing the same redundant tasks or to be working one job doing so much at one time your eyes cross. Can a person be effective in either situation?
In todays working world, it seems that employers are asking more and more of the employee. The "job" description is shifting to cover more and more of the demands of a business. How do the employees adjust, how is it managed by the employer and when do you cross the line from being effective to just being a warm body? If you become so busy that you are not allowed the luxury of putting thought and effort into actions - are you truly benefiting the company? Also, are you a concientience employee? It is as if you are walking a tight rope carrying to plates of food and theirs a flying chef just hovering to load up on of the plates to unbalance your load.
Is this "the wall"? Or is the wall when you just drop the plates and step off the rope? when do you call when?
How is this stress transfered to your health? If you get sick, is the employer benefiting? There has to be a manageable medium to this situation. Can employers afford the time and money of resource load sharing in a way that is good for them, the business and the employee?
Add in the economic struggles happening in this market and it complicates the stress of this kind of situation. What do you do when you can not do anymore?
How does this ever end? How can it be turned into a positive reaction?
In todays working world, it seems that employers are asking more and more of the employee. The "job" description is shifting to cover more and more of the demands of a business. How do the employees adjust, how is it managed by the employer and when do you cross the line from being effective to just being a warm body? If you become so busy that you are not allowed the luxury of putting thought and effort into actions - are you truly benefiting the company? Also, are you a concientience employee? It is as if you are walking a tight rope carrying to plates of food and theirs a flying chef just hovering to load up on of the plates to unbalance your load.
Is this "the wall"? Or is the wall when you just drop the plates and step off the rope? when do you call when?
How is this stress transfered to your health? If you get sick, is the employer benefiting? There has to be a manageable medium to this situation. Can employers afford the time and money of resource load sharing in a way that is good for them, the business and the employee?
Add in the economic struggles happening in this market and it complicates the stress of this kind of situation. What do you do when you can not do anymore?
How does this ever end? How can it be turned into a positive reaction?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Bloggin along
My report on flying Air India. First the lounge, it was ok, clean but not well stocked unless you really like old pastries and Kellogg cereals. Luckily they did have heinken in those little tiny bottles. It helped because once I got the gate I needed those beers. The had a portable security check set up at the gate with it roped off down the middle. Once you went through it you were put into a cattle bin of 200 or so people all standing around mooing at each other. There was the lady listening to the knock off ipod and the absent stares out into space.
Now let's get to the flight itself. No welcome drink. Barely got a glass of water. Mind you this was in business class not in economy. I felt for those people. The plane was old and extremely dirty. My seat had some scare funky embedded in all the creavices. Glad I had some purell. Food was iffy and yet again nothing to drink with dinner or breakfast. I'm a bit dehydrated. Hate to fly and not have water to drink.
The seat I was assigned did not work in the way of reclining - at all. But the seat next me became free so I moved over. Only to have some large indian woman take it and snore next me for the next 6 hours. Again so grateful to have a wonderful husband that got me the noise cancelling headphones and ipod. They have saved more than once now. I had rented a movie from itunes and actually was able to watch what I wanted to watch on a flight - that part was great.
Landed in Frankfurt was told by the welcome agent to go to what I swear he said Gate B16. I then stand in line at passport control and go through security and get to Gate B13 and then B19...no B16. I ask some nice gate agent at B13 and she explains no it is gate B60 as in six zero. I have to back through passport control etc. I ask another gate agent wher the lounge is and he says back at gate B44 - I was like no I'm done seeing the airpot and just want to rest. My briefcase weighs a ton. So here I sit waiting out the 4 hour friggin layover our travel agent booked me and watch the people come and go. There is a strange irish men walking around in large green furry top hat and an irish flag as a cape. I suspect he is with a soccor team of some sort.
I did get a good cappacuino from the Mondo coffee bar from a nice german man that said maybe when we get a new president our dollar will be worth something again. I can not escape the political campaign anywhere. i explained we had to choose the best of two evils and he said yes it will not be better for a long time, but mean while he'd like to visit his uncle in the US while the euro was favorable.
I better check in the time has whiled away looking at how to force my wisteria to bloom.
Now let's get to the flight itself. No welcome drink. Barely got a glass of water. Mind you this was in business class not in economy. I felt for those people. The plane was old and extremely dirty. My seat had some scare funky embedded in all the creavices. Glad I had some purell. Food was iffy and yet again nothing to drink with dinner or breakfast. I'm a bit dehydrated. Hate to fly and not have water to drink.
The seat I was assigned did not work in the way of reclining - at all. But the seat next me became free so I moved over. Only to have some large indian woman take it and snore next me for the next 6 hours. Again so grateful to have a wonderful husband that got me the noise cancelling headphones and ipod. They have saved more than once now. I had rented a movie from itunes and actually was able to watch what I wanted to watch on a flight - that part was great.
Landed in Frankfurt was told by the welcome agent to go to what I swear he said Gate B16. I then stand in line at passport control and go through security and get to Gate B13 and then B19...no B16. I ask some nice gate agent at B13 and she explains no it is gate B60 as in six zero. I have to back through passport control etc. I ask another gate agent wher the lounge is and he says back at gate B44 - I was like no I'm done seeing the airpot and just want to rest. My briefcase weighs a ton. So here I sit waiting out the 4 hour friggin layover our travel agent booked me and watch the people come and go. There is a strange irish men walking around in large green furry top hat and an irish flag as a cape. I suspect he is with a soccor team of some sort.
I did get a good cappacuino from the Mondo coffee bar from a nice german man that said maybe when we get a new president our dollar will be worth something again. I can not escape the political campaign anywhere. i explained we had to choose the best of two evils and he said yes it will not be better for a long time, but mean while he'd like to visit his uncle in the US while the euro was favorable.
I better check in the time has whiled away looking at how to force my wisteria to bloom.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Heavy Heart
I have always hated to see pain. Whether it was physical or emotional. Pain is a four letter word and it is one that has always been hard for me to digest. Especially when it is someone I care fore going through it. It weighs heavy for my heart to see anyone suffer. I take on their pain and ponder on it and visual it. It's a masochistic I know, but somehow my mind needs to wonder through this ritual. Maybe it makes me more compassionate to them, maybe it makes me squander myself away in bits and pieces. Either way it is exhausting. My own pain is rarely shared anymore. Those deep secrets of self destruction are kept inside, helping me fuel this digesting of others pain.
How can this be, to walk along through life and the every day carrying this around without someone seeing this disaster on my face? That my soul is yearning to free my friends from this agony that I have to suffer with them there in the trenches. My thoughts get consumed with their need for relief, so that I can recover as well.
Does this make some sort of freak or emotionally unstable individual or is this what friends do for each other? I would surely go through the pain for them so as to not see them suffer an ounce of discomfort. My heart bleeds their pain and it hurts. They deserve so much happiness and should never see so much sorrow or any misery. Some have had good lives while others continue to be tested and tried with these life hurts. Can't the happiness be shared? Isn't there some sort of option on the remote to disperse the pain and replace it joy?
They say that what does not kill us makes us stronger, if that is the case, I know Hercules and I know superman and so many other characters of steel.
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